Final Satire Reflection

Dean of Students Enjoys Sending Kids Home for No Reason

            In an effort to make his otherwise uneventful life slightly more interesting, local dean of students Randy Richard stated that he sends students home for almost no reason as a means of entertainment. “I mean, its not like it’s the end of the world if that student that I just sent home wasn’t wearing a belt underneath his sweatshirt,” Mr. Richard explained, “Its just that I enjoy the looks on their faces when they realize that they now have to drive all the way home just to get a belt that no one but me will notice.” Many students, thinking that he won’t notice, don’t come back to school for the rest of the day. “Its even more fun when I see them the next morning, and they just look at the ground and try to avoid me. That’s when I tell them they have a detention for skipping class.” Local sources report that the dean secretly enjoys the power he has over these students. “There’s nothing like sending a student home for having a skirt that’s a quarter inch too short,” said Richard, “Its really quite a rush.” Sometimes, the dean decides which students to target before he gets to work in the morning. “I usually think of the first few students that I’m going to send home before I even get in my car.” Most of the time, Richard explains, the same students come to school without the exact uniform requirements almost every day.  Lying in wait for the students all day, the dean, stalks his predetermined prey relentlessly, attacking on sight. He was last seen with a dull disposable razor forcing a student to shave off his hardly noticeable peach fuzz.

Reflection
I really, thoroughly enjoyed writing this final part of the satire project. I'm a very sarcastic person, and satire is pretty much the only sort of media that I consume these days that isn't exclusively about Donald Trump, so this assignment was right up my alley. I modeled my story after the Onion, or really any other satirical news source, because that's the kind of satire that I read the most and find to be the most humorous. As a process of write this, I simply read a few Onion articles (not the ones we read for the Onion journals), and then tried to think of an issue that is prevalent at this school. Seeing as I am the only guy in the class, I hear a lot about uniform violations and people taking issue with the rules, so I figured that writing about this issue could be both fun and... direct (I might also add that I really did cut myself with that dull disposable razor in sophomore year... I may be slightly salty). After I picked my issue I wrote the report in the same style that CNN or FOX News might write an article about a major event, except my article was about Coach Richard. As a final note, I'll say that I don't have any beef with Coach Richard, I just thought it would be amusing to have a negative approach to him for the sake of the article.